In Need? Yes....Of A Shower!

My normal routine for a bit now on Sundays has been to leave work at Hoss's, go to Moe's to check my schedule and get something to eat while I'm there.  This week the only change was I left Hoss's early enough to come home and get Xander so he could go grab dinner with me.  We had yet another great meal at Moe's and then went to the Sincerely Yogurt location next door for dessert.  Since my meals at Moe's are half off even when I'm not working I figured I'd treat myself.  I proceeded to get cheesecake yogurt and load it up.  When I went to pay for it the owner, who I know from him dining at Moe's all the time, informed me that the girls in front of us had paid for our dessert.  He mistook my surprise for confusion and continued to elaborate on an idea that I've heard of but never experienced first hand.  It really struck me and shocked me and it is upsetting that you never get to thank the people who do these amazing things.  As Xander and I sit and eat we chat up the owner and he even gives Xander some candy since I refused to allow him to put Sour Patch Kids in our New York Cheesecake yogurt.  When we went to leave I approached the counter to keep the kindess going and help pay for the next patron that comes along.  As I am doing so the owner hands me a roll of money and tells me that the people in front of me wanted us to have this as well.  This is where I get totally lost.  This is out of the ordinary, right?  I mean the roll contained less than 10.00 but it is still very odd.  I told the owner to keep the money and keep the generosity going all while refusing to grab the money.  While I continue to urge him to keep it he hands it to Xander.  Back and forth we went for a few moments and in the end we thanked him and walked out with Xander clutching a wad of bills.
Now I realize that I looked rough after working, falling down the steps and limping my way to dinner,  I'm not offended if the girls ahead of me thought I was poor because I kinda looked the part in a dirty uniform and a jacket covered in liquid that previously occupied.  If anything I would like to thank the girls.  If anything ELSE I'd like to tell them I didn't let Xander get yogurt because he's so picky he refuses even delicious snacks until you almost have to force him to eat them.  In the end I went to get Mexican and yogurt and pretty much came home with more money in my pocket than I left with.

It's Long, Boring, Sad But Also It's Personal Catharsis

I lost my Aunt this week to cancer.  I got a call last Sunday that she was given about a week to live.  That night I packed the car and made the drive from Pittsburgh to Hershey where she was being "treated".  Hearing that someone is days away from passing does nothing to prepare you for seeing someone motionless and completely unresponsive.  The entire time I was there she slept.  She was motionless, except for her chest moving ever so slightly when she would inhale and exhale, and she was completely unresponsive.  She only sounds she made during my visit was when the nurses would come in to turn or move her.  When that happened my mom and I had to retreat to the hall because the moans and cries of pain were unbearable.
Now that she's gone I should be lamenting her passing and speaking about the horrors associated with cancer.  While I will miss her immensely  I won't be shaking my first and cursing about how cancer took her from me.  It was as much her unwillingness to get treatment YEARS ago as it was the fault of the cancer.  In the final weeks of her life the doctors couldn't believe how fast the cancer had spread.  Her deterioration ramped up unbelievably fast since Christmas but I can't tell you the last time I recall her walking without pain and a serious limp.  She was the oldest sibling on my Dad's side and was never in great health so for a bit we brushed it off just like my Aunt would.  Then we'd comment about the duration of these ailments and and would  get no response.  Family members even guilted her and said about she wouldn't be around to see her nephews graduate or get married if she didn't seek out help.  The biggest response you would get was that after all the years she spent working at a hospital the last thing she wanted to do was go to one voluntarily. This one sided conversation with her was initiated with her numerous times over the years and quietly I thought that when we had our first son it might be a motivator for her to seek help.  It wasn't and neither was the birth of our second child.  She even got so bad that she moved out of her very old and dilapidated trailer and moved into the rental property my parents had on their land.  She had just recently started her retirement and she was excited about relaxing on my parent's farm, talking walks in the woods and relaxing on her porch.  She got to enjoy none of that.  With being so close to my parents on a daily basis I think it became much harder to hide the discomfort and pain she had.  She couldn't even walk the less that 100 feet from her trailer to my parents house when they would invite her to dinner.  She'd drive down her driveway and up there driveway so she could shave a few feet off her trip.
Once she went to the doctors, around October or early November, it was a constant string of bad or worse news.  When I went to visit her just before Christmas I had already heard she'd most likely never live on her own again.  Whether she had heard or accepted this news I'm not sure but she was talking about being late on getting Christmas gifts to people because she was behind on her wrapping.  She was talking about how nice everyone was at the hospital and about how all the people she had worked with for years at this very hospital were stopping to see her.  While this action brought comfort to her it also enlightened the rest of my family as to how bad off my Aunt had been and for how long. These visitors would talk privately with my Mom and Dad after visiting my Aunt.  We found out that she'd come to work HOURS early to score a close parking space and then she would sit in her car waiting for her shift to start.  She could barely walk from the lot into the hospital so she had to stake her claim on a spot close enough that she could fake it and hobble to from each day.  Little stories like this one made it clear that she was far more ill than we ever thought and for much longer than we realized.
Towards the end she initiated the DNR order at the hospital and refused a feeding tube.  She knew her time was limited and from what I gather some of the very last gestures and sentences were used to convey her wishes to be cremated and to not have a viewing. There were no goodbyes or last calls for visitors while she still had to energy to talk or acknowledge people.  When I walked into the dark hospital room the day before she passed I thought I walked into the wrong room.  The person laying on the bed wasn't who I had seen just 3 weeks prior.
So fuck cancer, right?  Well......yeah.....duh.  Cancer really does suck and it took my aunt down at a brutal speed toward the end.   But I have a hard time not being angry with my Aunt.  Surely in all her years working at the hospital she not only saw families suffer over the loss of a loved on but I'm pretty sure she saw some amazing recoveries.  Perhaps my anger over her refusal to get care is a way for me to avoid getting so sad I cry.  Haven't cried a single tear yet and that's awful to say since my Aunt was the cool relative all my life that taught me all the stuff parents warn you about.  She taught me how ti drive.  She gave me booze when I wasn't even close to 21.  She took me to Blockbuster to rent movies and buy snacks.  She took me out to do fun things in State College with her friends.  She was the bad influence that I knew still cared about me and wanted to look after me.
So I'm certainly left with a range of emotions but sadness is a rather small fraction of it.  We warned Xander that Aunt Sandy was very sick for some time.  He knew my trip out to see her was because she wouldn't be around much longer.  When she passed I broke the news to him and he took the news without question and didn't need much clarification.  Now I come to find out that when not around me he's been talking about her and her trailer.  I'm guessing until he goes to visit my parents again she sees Aunt Sandy isn't in the trailer any longer it isn't something that will really settle/sink in.  Hopefully he has enough good memories of her like I do that it makes the loss somewhat easier to cope with.
Cancer is a real fuck.  No question about it. But I can't fully blame a disease when the person carrying it had so much time to get help and treatment.  I'll always remember the good times and fun but I fear it will often be punctuated with bit of anger and resentment.  No matter how angry or upset I am not I don't want to feel that way for any longer than I have to in order to cope with all this.

AMC = A Mediocre Chain

The only theatre in PA to show the recent Cornetto Trilogy was the AMC Lowes Waterfront 22.  I used to frequent this location years and years ago.  Before that my theatre of choice when I lived in Orlando was the AMC at Downtown Disney.  I only abnadoned AMC because there were closer chains locally and then once the Pittsburgh Mills theartre opened I found a new "special occasson" theatre for big events like midnight Harry Potter or Avengers showings.

My most recent visit to the Waterfront location was less than stellar and to show my displeasure I tweeted this out between films..

You'd think this @AMCTheatres would be more prepared for this Cornetto showing. The concession stand lines are beyond ridiculous.
— Thomas Stark (@MasterofDVD) August 22, 2013

Someone reached out to me for more details....so I expanded my thoughts a bit and sent them this..

 I’ll quickly go over a few of the issues I had in regards to the Cornetto screening. 

 

The first would be that when I purchased the ticket I attempted to get the reserved seating but it wouldn’t allow it to be added to my cart.  I had been ages, the release of Hellboy 2?, since I had been to that theatre so I assumed that maybe meant the auditorium we would be in might not have reserved seating.  Turns out I was incorrect.  I heard from some other people that you either had to call or go to the theatre in person to get reserved seats.  Had I known that I would have been more than willing to buy my tickets over the phone...but I never saw that information on your site.

 

Another minor detail was that a number of people I spoke to that might were very confused about the 5.00 off deal for snack.  Someone asked and found out that only paid members of your reward program were able to get in on that.  It had been so long since I had been to an AMC Theatre I recall when the rewards card program didn’t require an annual fee. 

 

My main concern is/was the concession stands that evening.  I was the first person in line for the trilogy screening that might and that meant I arrived around 12:30 for a 5:30 screening.  I purchased a few items almost without incident before the first movie.  It wasn’t until I returned to my seat I realized the popcorn was a bit on the burnt side and the kernels were more like crumbs.  Between the 1st and 2nd film our theatre let out and we were met with huge concession stand lines.  I immediately used the restroom and then got in line.  Since I hadn’t finished my popcorn I ordered the pretzel bites.  The cashier said they were temporarily out.  I asked how long it would be until more were ready.  She excused herself and went around the corner to ask.  I heard her ask somebody and they said it would be 15 minutes and then when she returned to me a few feet away she said they were complete out for the night.  I didn’t have the 15 minutes to wait, since the time between movies was about 30 minutes, but I would of preferred honesty to what she did.  I simply got another drink and returned to the auditorium.  After the 2nd film I skipped the main concession area and went to where the coffee stand is.  There was 1 gentleman in front of me who ordered 1 drink and I purchased a cold blended espresso.  I guess the reason that wait took a long time was because there were 2 people working and one was training.  If the food at a theatre was cheap I could excuse some of these things but to enjoy a 20.00 movie I spent more than double that on snacks and drinks that night.  I’ve run a kitchen for over 12 years and we tend to plan our staffing around major events in and around Pittsburgh.  If you are going to have an auditorium full of people from 5:30, at the latest, until midnight PLUS all the other auditoriums I would think all food outlets would be staffed and stocked accordingly. 

 

I appreciate that you do events like this and that I was allowed to wait in line so early on in the day but it was very hard to enjoy the theatre going experience like I used to.

I really dislike the theatre these days because the people normally ruin it.  This time the business is the one that really let me down.  Thankfully this chain will be very easy to avoid in the future,

What’s The Matter……Chikin?

Perhaps a previous Facebook post didn’t clearly detail my issues with Chick-Fil-A.  I will rectify and clarify things as best I can…but before I explain it all I’ll start with this….

Fuck Chick-Fil-A President Dan Cathy. 

Now the calmer part of my entry….

Even as much as this Dan Cathy upsets me he is certainly entitled to his opinion.  He is against same sex marriage? That is his right.  He can feel that way and shout it from the rooftops if he wants.  The upsetting part is Cathy has in a way.  He’s been vocal about being pro-family as long as that family consists of a male and female marriage and not a same sex one.  Once again this isn’t my issue because he can say whatever he wants.  The problem is after his opinion is shared with the public he often has to do damage control and release a press statement to soften the blow and alter his stance.  If you feel a certain way and share it with people you have to hope that people will stand with you and those that don’t have that choice too.  That statement not only expresses now Cathy should act but it reflects what countless men and women have to deal with when they share with friends and family that that are gay.  It’s a tough thing to express and once someone announces they are gay they don’t have the luxury of a press release to fall back on if their feelings are not well received.  They often are ignored or shunned by people they once loved. 

I’m getting to the moral of the story before I’m even done with Cathy.  Besides the few times he has doubled back of his opionions there is the money he has donated to anti-gay marriage groups.  On the surface the groups that receive donations obliviously sound very religious but also have friendly or harmless names.  Take the Fellowship Of Christian Athletes as one of many examples I’ve found.  The group seems harmless.  Then you investigate a bit and find that they hold a yearly conference to help “free” people from homosexuality.  Then to became a Ministry Leader within that group you have a to sign an application where you have to agree to condemn gays and their lifestyle.  Another group that received donations is called Exodus International.  This group uses some of the funds they receive to provide homosexuals with therapy that will cure their gay tendencies.  Still I have to back down a bit and say that Cathy can donate his money how he pleases and these groups, sadly, can do with these funds how they please.
Thankfully there are some people and groups out there that are holding Cathy to his original word on this matter.  This is the letter from the Mayor of Boston…



Losing the opportunity to open a few new locations won’t hurt Chick-Fil-A but hopefully this type of exposure will.

Lastly this is the bit that sent me over the edge and had me post my Facebook status.  Recently The Jim Henson company released this statement..




What is Chic-Fil-A’s reason that they no longer have Muppet toys for their kids meals?



Since those pictures speak for themselves I’ll just move on with my final thoughts I eluded to earlier.  I’m all for someone stating what they are for and against.  Hell….I’ve lost friends because I’ve been “too honest” or blunt.  I didn’t once think about changing my opinion or how I feel to win them back.  I have to state how I feel, be true to myself and live with whatever happens.  Cathy needs to be who he is and stop being who he needs to be at that particular moment.

The Knight We Didn’t Expect

Last night I was bummed that I was too tired to venture out to a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises. Today I woke up and I could not of been happier that I didn’t go. I agree with millions of others that the theatre massacre was a tragedy but honestly I’m amazed that someone crazy enough to do this didn’t travel to Pittsburgh, the backdrop of the film, to live out his twisted act.

No matter where this act took place the only good to come from this is that the shooter was caught. So often these types will end their own lives after taking the lives of so many others. I’m sure that this matters very little to some of the family members of those shot and killed. I have no issues with the death penalty but will that be what he deserves for all this suffering? Why can’t torture be allowed for certain criminals who are this far gone and worthless to society?

I just hope for a few things. I hope that we don’t hear that video game violence or violent films were a trigger for this guy. I’m sure this level of instability can be triggered by something as tiny as a cat sneeze. I’ve always said that even after seeing violent films a little younger than I should I’ve turned out pretty well. Sure I saw The Silence of the Lambs as a kid and it didn’t turn me into a cannibal. It turned me into a bit of a pussy because for YEARS after first seeing that film I had to cover my eyes at certain scenes. And the video game debate can shove off as well. I shoot and kill things in video game as a way to de-stress enough that I don’t get angry and hurt the real people around me.

I also hope that this trial goes as fast and the Cruise and Holmes divorce. They have tons of people who saw this guy. They caught him in all the gear we wore during the shooting. I hope that the witness list contains every person that made it out of the theatre alive.

It’s truly sad that this takes place the very same month that my wife and I have been able to start taking our son to the movies. It’s no secret that my love of movies runs extremely deep and it is certainly something I want to pass along to Xander. Some of the best movie memories I have as from midnight showing where fans showed up in costumes. I’m not sure if midnight screenings will be altered because of this event but AMC has already banned costumes from all of their locations. I

I don’t fear change or progress but I should start because nothing seems to change for the better and progress is slow if not nonexistent. We test people for diseases like Cancer and AIDS but mental illness is something that people turn their back on or just never spot until it is too late. I can only hope that we start to study these people who commit these crimes so we can get a better understanding of why people do these things and find a way to identify unstable individuals a bit better. If the death penalty is too good for this guy let him be a guinea pig for the rest of this life. Let all these deranged folks get probed and tested for the rest of their lives in order to curb these mass killings.

While You Look Ahead…

I’m not hating on anyone but I think it’s nuts to think 2012 will be a drastic change from the previous year.  Minor change? Sure.  Gradual change?  Absolutely.  I’m going to try things that are new but since I feel people for the most part are resistant to change I’ll have a few things I try work and a could will fail.  Real change moves very slowly and can only be noticed when looking back way down the road.

I’d rather be the person who looks back at how things have changed over the years.  The other day I was thinking about all those bullshit awards/titles they give out in yearbooks for the most likely to succeed and that kind of shit.  Who even votes for that shit?  Do they even waste time on that stuff these days?  I just think it is crazy to try and label someone in high school because most of the people there are in for a reality check when tossed out in the real world.  I know a few kids in school who worked at a real job or had a taste of life outside the school’s walls.  Even WITH a taste of the outside world some of those students still weren’t able to hit the ground running after graduation. 

While my class was smart enough to not try and predict the future they still took a female and male student and labeled them with a trait that made them stand out while in school.   Most of these aren’t traits….they are survival skills.  This was how you acted to survive school and get out alive.  I’m not friends with many people I went to school with because I no longer feel the need to fake it and please people.  Thanks to Facebook I have a handful of people that I honestly like keeping in touch with.  It’s shocking how the lives of those few people have changed over the years. I don’t mean just getting married or having kids but total 180 degree turns in personality and characteristics.  I’d hate to call them out and have them think I was mocking them in any way.  The truth of the matter is they are more honest with themselves now and they were just trying to find there way in school.  I’m not going to call anybody out but I was tempted to simply because I’m proud that they found themselves and burst out of the cocoon after school was over.

The scary thing is the people that didn’t change.  I’m more worried about that people that WERE all grown up in school.  I understand being bitter and a little angry about school and life as a teen but you gotta let that shit go once you aren’t forced to go back.  Wipe the slate clean and try starting over.  If I had wasted less time with someone so bitter and nasty maybe I would be better real friends with my high school Facebook friends. 

The Day Drug Testing Became Necessary

I’ve smoked weed.  I’ll admit it.  But it was a long time ago and since then something awful has happened to the people who enjoy weed.  What happened you may ask?  Well they forgot that weed is best taken when you have nothing or maybe very little to do.  It’s a way to relax a little more, enjoy a movie in a different way or alter the interaction between you and a few of your stoner friends.  I’ve got no issue with the way things USED to be. 

Nowadays these kids think they can come to work high and nobody will notice.  We notice.  The problem is you have a shitty job that nobody else wants to do and while maybe getting high helps you cope with that it only serves to slllllooooooooowwwwwww down your work speed.  Thanks to that it takes you way longer to accomplish any/all tasks.  I don’t even want to think about how many of these kids think getting high before and during school is a way just to cruise through the day.  News flash you fucking retards…if you don’t learn anything you won’t get anywhere.  At least have the decency to stash the joint away for after school and try to pay attention during class.  You might learn something, get a decent job and maybe you’ll be able to afford better recreational, as in not when you have something better to do, weed. 

I obviously won’t be able to type something here that will “cure” a pothead but I beg you guys to spark up a brain cell more often than you spark up a joint and you’ll see what I’m getting at here.  There are a few productive stoners, Kevin Smith and Seth Rogan come to mind, but are you really aspiring to be either one of those fat clowns?  I sure hope not or weed is the LEAST of your problems after all.