Booted Up The Computer Just To Type This

I own both Ocean’s Eleven and Ocean’s Twelve. I like them but only enough to buy them once they were in the bargain bin. The most recent film of the series arrived from NetFlix the other night since I was too cheap to buy it the Tuesday it came out. The scope, cast and complexity of the movie is only matched by its sheer implausible and frankly retarded nature. Holy Shit……this movie is far fucking out there. I just adore the way Clooney and Pitt talk in this abbreviated sentences and finish each other’s lines like an old married couple. And a cast of 13 pulling this off? You would need all these actors, David Blaine, Chris Angel, The Amazing Jonathan, the witches from Hocus Pocus & Eastwick, James Bond ( ALL OF THEM) and the Genie from Aladdin and Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie to have the magical suaveness this crew has. I can already picture the fantastic heist they have going for the 4th film. They all sneak into the casino they want to fuck over this time with their magic invisibility capes. They then use their Wonder Twin rings to crack open the vault after one of them smooth talks the HAL-like AI system that guards the valuables. After they are able to wipe the memories of the staff with pixy dust they open up their Pokémon balls to reveal a Pegasus that flies them to safety. They idea will certainly drawn enough of a crowd that a 5th film will get the green light. Oh I sure hope they use that idea of robbing the InGen casino on Isla Nublar they keeping mentioning so we can see those dinosaurs cut into the vault with their laser claws!

Who’s Laughing Now?

Anyone with basic cable or an internet connection yesterday most likely heard the news about Heath Ledger being found dead….and buck naked. When I heard the news I went to the forum I frequent and found the thread about the news was doubling in size with every page refresh. People were simply stunned and devastated by the news. I few people mentioned how they felt physically ill after hearing the news. I love my movies but I have to wonder how much of a fan you have to be for something like that to hit you that hard. It was a number of posts into the thread before someone asked the question I first thought of when I heard the news. Was he all done with filming his role as The Joker? People jumped on this poster and chewed his ass out. Personally I think it’s normal for a movie fan to wonder if an actor had been able to finish production before their passing. It’s a natural reaction. All these people are giving themselves an ulcer worrying about the consequences but it’s unlikely we’ll even know the whole story. He was a rising star that was having problem. Sadly he couldn’t get the help he needed. They say money can’t buy happiness but with his check from The Dark Knight maybe could of at the very least put a down payment on some.

In local news it seems that Kevin Smith was filming at the Monrowville Mall the other day. I was excited to hear it but upset that I haven’t heard of any filming locations in advance. I would love to see them film this thing.

I am in the process of converting all my blog posts into one giant archive. Yes I love myself that damn much and I am that vain. Considering I have been blogging since September 20, 2003 I have a real chore ahead of me. I have to reformat most of the entries and find pictures to match broken links. It’s kinda fun to go back that far and see what I was up to. Most things haven’t changed but there are a few funny stories that, since I wrote them, I almost feel retarded laughing at.

I Didn’t Screw It Up Too Bad

After spending most of my day working behind the scenes on my blog I have to say that I am trilled that it is still viewable. Nothing is set is stone but I am pretty happy with the way it looks at the moment. The header image for this theme randomizes so I tried to make a few quick pictures to add some variety. I want to enlist the help of a few friends who are artistic but they both always seem busy so I may try to make a few more on my own before I bug them.

I think I have the theme I want for a bit but I want to mess with the various sidebar widgets for a bit yet before I settle on the final product.

*Sniff Sniff*

Smell that? It’s better than new car smell. It’s a little scent called Updated Software. Since the update to my forum went pretty well I figured it was time to bring my blog software up to the newest version. Both processes were easy other than the insanely long wait times while the new files uploaded to my site. You might not see the changes but they are there and I am going to do my best to take advantage of all the newest changes.

It’s Nice To Shake Things Up A Bit

There will be some spoiler type info here so read at your own risk. In other words….TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND SEE THE DAMN MOVIE……NOW!!!11!!1!

Today marked the release of Cloverfield. I can’t even recall how long ago the marketing started for this movie. After looking at the teaser poster countless times I think 1-18-08 will be the only release date I will always remember. The internet is like a digital gossip queen, nothing can stay hidden, but amazingly enough the creature was never exposed. The forum I visit had tons of folks following the movie and none of the pictures people claimed to be the creature turned out to be correct. This is impressive considering how many films have been ruined or spoiled but this whole internet thing. I stopped reading about the movie a few days ago so that the chances of something being ruined were lessened. We already know the camera/footage is found in Central Park so right there you know how far they make it.

As soon as the film started I was thinking the worst. The film starts off bright and early in the morning. This wasn’t a good sign since most of the trailers and ads show nothing but night scenes. It was all character development and while it seemed far too long at first by the end of the film I’m glad it was in the movie. You know the one character I was thrilled they didn’t develop? The fucking monster. As much as I love movies with huge, out of control creatures they always have scenes where some scientist analyzes the creatures or you see a did of a human side to the beast. This thing was pissed and just wanted to kick some ass. The only thing you know about the creature is that it doesn’t respect human life and it’s big enough to take you down.

Being spoiled on big action scenes I found myself straining to see the creature the first few times it is on screen. I would strain to try and take in as much as I could during the quick cuts and jumps. When you finally see the monster roar I damn near shit myself because not only was it loud but I was not expecting the camera to stand still or get as close as it did. Visually the creature the creature was very odd looking but considering the director has previously given us a smoke monster in Lost I should just be happy is has mass and weight. It looked a bit too much like Pumpkinhead to feel like a fresh new idea. The reach on that thing was nuts. There is that time during puberty where you look all disproportionate and weird and I got that feeling from the monster. The offspring of this creature sure made make me feel better about things. While they reminded me of the bugs in Starship Troopers I was amazed at the sheer speed and ferocity they had. They took the Duke Nukem stand to things and felt is was time to kick ass and takes names later. The subway tunnel scene was outstanding but how many smaller camcorders have night vision on them? Anyway…..

The cast was average to say the least. Hated most of them right off the bat and some grew on me over time. I didn’t pay attention to the time stamp at the start of the movie so I was really confused about which girl Rob was dating. Took me a bit to catch on. I guess I wasn’t expecting to have backstory to contend with. Cutting the random Coney Island parts in here and there really didn’t add much to me. I understand Rob and her had a great day and other than the start of the movie and the last Coney Island bit I don’t care what happened to them that day.

At two points near the end I was faked out thinking the film was over and both times I was thrilled that I was wrong. At the start of the movie some guy behind me said they had a scene after the credits. After a large drink the last thing I wanted to do was finish the credits but I was determined to see all of the movie. The end turned out to be a garbled audio clip wish was a waste but the music over the credits, entitled “ROAR!” was an outstanding piece of music. Still trying to find it online.

With such an outstanding year for movies ahead I fear this movie will get overlooked and forgotten very quickly and it’s a shame. The style and content of this movie isn’t for everyone but it’s nice to shake up the genre a bit….even if the shaky cam footage is almost enough to make you sick.

A Trip…To The Strip…Will Make You Flip

My wife and I figured we would go to the Strip District in Pittsburgh this week as part of our anniversary celebration since it was one of the first places we had a “date”. I used my spiffy new printer and plotted a course for us and off we went. Less than ½ mile from our apartment I realized I had forgotten the directions. It was like the scene at the start of Harold and Kumar as I pondered going back that looooong way. I said screw it and told my wife we could find it on our own. Famous last words I suppose. We both knew it was near the shore line so we thought it would be easy. It would of been easier if the city had only one river but with 3 rivers and therefore 6 shores….the odds were not in our favor. We drove in circles for almost 2 hours slowly winding down the possibilities. We had finally spotted one of two signs in ALL of downtown that tell you where the fuck this place is. We thought we were home free. Then as we were trying to find a parking lot for the day we made a right turn and all of a sudden we are back on another goddamn bridge headed back to another shore. It felt like there were either 20 or so bridges downtown or there were a few mystical ones like the staircases in the Harry Potter series. Each time we turned around we were crossing over yet another steel structure over yet another body of water. There really is no city like Pittsburgh and everyone not living in Pittsburgh is so thankful for that.

The good thing about this adventure is I am pretty sure we got to see about 90% of downtown on our way to our destination. I finally got to drive near PNC Park and Heinz Field. Bother seemed neat and maybe in the future I’ll get inside them. We got the driving tour of the University of Pittsburgh. I’m not sure what degrees of classes they offer but on orientation day each and every student should be strapped down Clockwork Orange style and watch a video about crossing the street and yielding to cars. Common sense needs to be a part of their academic program. I also now know where Blush night club is and the next time I want to visit the strip in Pittsburgh I think I’ll get more satisfaction out of the club than I did the district.

The actual visit to The Strip wasn’t as eventful as the journey to it but we still had a good time. We ate at Enrico’s and it was a great little place off the main road a bit where we enjoyed a fine meal….once the waitress remembered to bring us forks. I met an old man who loved to talk about coffee. The sad part of that was that he talked about coffee while trying to eat a very messy sandwich. At what point do you stop being attentive and just scream at him to shut the fuck up and chew? The strip was far less epic than I remembered it. Back in college it seemed like their was some great market every few feet. This time I felt as if I was missing a side street full of cool shops. I also realize while in culinary school my mind was all about cooking and creating therefore the area left a bigger impression. These days I still enjoy cooking but after doing it as a job for so long the shops remind me how much of a chore cooking at home can be. I still enjoy creating but I’d rather head into Monroeville to McGinnis Sisters to shop than fight poor traffic patterns and iPod wearing college zombies.

Armageddon Came Out On DVD 9 Years Ago Today

I’ve done all kinds of crazy shit in my life. So things I’ve blogged about, some things my closet circle of friends know about and a few other things are kept locked away tightly never to be talked about. Some of these things were planned but most were spur of the moment. 9 years ago today I did something I was pretty much convinced I would never ever do……I got married. I love my alone time and growing up I had a ton of it. I never kept people close to me because I just felt I was better off without them. Most of my high school relationships were poorly conceived and executed just as badly. The crushes I had never worked out and the relationships I did managed to weasel my way into often took a twist like Fatal Attraction. College was going to be my time to shine. I longed for freedom, parties, drugs, booze and babes…..or at the very least girls that looked hot with beer goggles. The first month or two of college was just like my ill conceived plan. Then one day some girl at school decided to give me shit for not having a name tag on. It’s funny that I get “yelled at” for teasing her so much these days but yet if it wasn’t for her picking on me one day 12 years ago we never would of gotten together. Kelsey wasn’t the type of person to do the “normal” college thing so I gave up the parties and drugs totally but a drink sure hits the spot now and then. We were pretty much inseparable for a time when neither of us had a cell phone, computer or internet connection. While we’ve had some great times since then I won’t paint some fairy tale story of perfect love because it wasn’t that way and I don’t think that happens often. We had our share of problems and probably a share of each person who is reading this. When the time came to pop the question it wasn’t something I planned and perfected. It was a spur of the moment idea that came out of my mouth when the time seemed right. It’s been a wild ride since those nuptials were exchanged but I don’t plan on leaving my seat until the ride comes to a complete stop. I know we’ve had our problems and our families had their doubts but the key is to take the low moments in stride and always make the effort to move toward the next high.

And yes…..we were married on a Tuesday and Armageddon, the non-Special Edition version, came out that day. And no….I didn’t get to pick it up at the store until after our honeymoon was over.