Arnold The Pig Was NOT Invited

I really want to get to the wedding part of the entry but first things first.

I went to get a haircut the other day in preparation for the wedding. The wife came along because she was in charge of the trim/hack job. I got in the chair, removed my glass, donned the little bib and awaited my fate. The hairdresser asked my wife what we were looking for. My wife said a shorter summer cut that was simple. Next thing I know this lady is flipping the pages of the hair magazines in search of a look. My wife kindly shot them all down. She then points to a poster on the wall. My wife slowly said that was kind of what she was looking for. I could her the severe doubt in her voice but it was too late. She scissors were already on their way to meet my head. The cut is super short and I’m open with that. The problem was the styling she went with for my cut. I looked like the main character from a Final Fantasy game. It was far too wild and spikey. As soon as we left the shop I made my wife take me home so I could wash my hair before we made our errands for the day.

So now for the wedding entry. I will never come out and say the wedding was populated by hillbillies. I will simply let you know the details and assume you are smart enough to piece the puzzle together. If the blog title confuses you then you need to goggle the pig’s name.

1. The reception tent was from a circus. It seems in a round about way I am now related to carny folk who were kind enough to lend out their tent. I think elephants for a merry-go-round at this thing would of made it the perfect night.

2. The groom was supposedly arriving on a tractor. This did not happen but this missing feature did not really serve to class up the event.

3. While the wedding was very casual due to it being outside, in fucking July, only one person arrive wearing overalls.

4. It seems a family member had to decline the invitation to the wedding once he heard the seating for the wedding was going to be hay bales. That was pure joy in shorts.

5. I witnessed my wife’s grandmother do a shot of Pukcer and then follow it up with a full body quiver. Later she said that she really was hoping it was going to be whiskey in the glass.

6. I met a very nice girl who goes by the nickname Moo. She was certainly attractive but did have a birthmark on the back of her leg. Perhaps that little spot reminded someone of a dairy cow’s spots.

7. A porta potty was provided for the ladies and the men mainly walked over the hill next to the tent to piss.

8. The fireworks show was stunning but I felt the finale with the ones shooting into the one corner of the tent was a tad over the top. Someone really needs to turn in this relative in for his firework smuggling before his luck gets any worse.

It really was a night to remember and I guess in the end that is what someone wants for their wedding. It sure wasn’t the type of event I would of planned but it seemed that most of the people had a good time. I am going to a party on the 18th of August and I believe Moo is going to be there. Think I should try and get to the bottom of the name?

When Threesomes Don’t Work Out

It’s such a relief not having a PS3 any longer. While the system had some merits it seemed that each day Sony lost more and more to Microsoft and Nintendo. One day they will make a wild claim and piss off for fans. Another day they will lose the exclusive rights to a popular series they have relied on to sell systems. Sure there was the Blu-Ray player and some titles I wanted to stick it out for but sometimes the love can’t be spread out that much. I feel much better about the Wii60 combo as we gamers have nicknamed it. Ive played more Wii in the past 2 weeks than I did the first 2 months we had it. The Scarface game was fun as hell. I am getting back into Super Paper Mario. Wii Sports holds up still for being such a basic series of games. My copy of Harry Potter showed up today and casting spells with the Wiimote kicks butt. The two systems I have now work for me very well. Tom, Chris and Mike can enjoy my company on XBOX Live and a nice Wii game can entertain the wife and I. I knew one other person with a PS3 and frankly I’m not even going to bother telling him I don’t have it any longer.

Concentrated Nerd Food

This will a brief post. My head hurts and my eyes have had enough. I think Transformers broke my brain. I saw this movie as being a check your brain at the door kind of event. I was smart enough to foresee that the action in the movie is more than our weak human minds can process. The movie was top notch as far as effects and action. The final showdown was most likely the most over the top and out of control thing I have ever seen. It would of been nice to have a side plot than ran alongside the battle so that the audience could of had time to rest and blink.

Other than the above I have very little else to say that is negative about the movie. I have to say they should just enjoy the hopeful success of this film and forget a sequel. There is only so much robot on robot action a person needs to be happy.

I have to add the once again my snide but honest opinion on the trailers got a bit of a chuckle. The Game Plan trailer shows that all great movie ideas will eventually get run into the ground. A manly man, football star this time around, finds out he has a little girl and has to adapt to being a daddy. The final scene of the trailer shows The Rock tossing balls at the girl on the field. They all smack her around since her motor skills aren’t at all developed. After the trailer I state that if someone had tackled her and laid her out on that field……they would have sold me 100% on the film with that one part. You think I am mean now but when this films bombs they’ll wish they had added that scene in for child haters like myself.