Send In The Next Wave!

I had friends in high school. I left them behind when I went to college. Those friends fell by the wayside when I moved to Orlando. I ended up picking up and leaving them to move here. It’s been 6 years and now everyone for once has picked up and split on me for a change. In a span of a year or so I’ve had pretty much everyone I hung out with pick up and move on. It happens…..I realize this…..but that doesn’t mean I have to adjust to it quickly. I’ve not tried to be a prick but at times I don’t respond to someone because of self loathing and self pity. It’s weird having the tables reversed. Frankly it sucks. I realize in this day and age we have the ability to reach out and touch people in a number of convenient ways. As much as I love my technology it just doesn’t replace human contact. There aren’t many humans I enjoy contact with so when one of the elite moves on it’s a shock to the system. The only ace up my sleeve is they all still have family around here…..so they all have to visit some time. I just have to wait…..patiently.

With the pseudo-loss of old friends comes the attempt at maybe making some new ones. Oh joy. There are high ranking government jobs that require an easier screening process than the one I lay down. Tonight my wife invited 2 people she works with over. It ended up being a real geek fest for us guys while the ladies were utterly clueless. He would ask if I had ever seen [ insert random internet joke, bizarre movie or pop culture event here ] and it would spiral off into a very bizarre conversation. Those people whom I am friends with now should know that while my geek side was out on full force my sarcastic side took the night off. Wondering why he got special treatment you never got for you or your respective other halves huh? I was feeling generous. He’s never seen Shaun of the Dead or Army of Darkness but he enjoyed Serenity so he seems to be a viable candidate.

Just A Quick Note

My blogging time has been greatly decrease lately. It’s mainly due to video games and movies. We have 3 out at a time plans for both Netflix and GameFly so I’m a busy guy. There was also a slight snafu and it seems GameFly sent me 4 games so I am even more swamped with stuff than I expected to be. The main culprit is the new 360 game called Bioshock. The day it came in my wife and I were watching a movie and she understood I wanted to pause it to try my game out. Over 5 hours later I figured it was time to maybe watch the rest of the movie. Since then I have spent many hours a night playing the game and I have been loving it. The story was a bit thin at first so I was a little bummed out but eventually everything fell into place. It’s a beautiful game to look at and I think I would almost be having as much fun if I were watching someone else play it. I am trying to boost my XBOX Gamerscore to 30,000 by the day of my 30th birthday. Thanks to this game I past the 29,000 mark and then some. I have almost a month to get about 800 more points. Shouldn't be too much of an issue. It’s a rather lame goal to some but it’s better to have a lame goal than no goal at all.

The Dangers Of Blank Greeting Cards

Around the time of the wedding entry I gave my wife a card. I picked up an empty shell of a card and proceeded to pretend I was as well trained as those Hallmark professionals. It was a small note to tell my wife I was looking forward to spending time with her after she was done helping to get the wedding pulled off. To me it was sweet and innocent. To my wife it documentation of her inability to care for her husband. Was she implying I was some sort of infant? Sure I like a nipple in my mouth now and then but that hardly validates the point. The argument about the card was short and not because either side won. I simply at one point just stopped caring and I added “kind gestures” to the list of things I will never worry about again.

I guess it’s bad to like attention. I dislike most people but still like making people laugh because I adore the attention. This doesn't mean the attention from my wife is the same as the attention I can get from anyone else. I didn't need the attention from just anyone and I assumed the card might help show that I was waiting for her. It really only showed that I will next time buy a cookie cutter card that someone else carefully worded.

Arnold The Pig Was NOT Invited

I really want to get to the wedding part of the entry but first things first.

I went to get a haircut the other day in preparation for the wedding. The wife came along because she was in charge of the trim/hack job. I got in the chair, removed my glass, donned the little bib and awaited my fate. The hairdresser asked my wife what we were looking for. My wife said a shorter summer cut that was simple. Next thing I know this lady is flipping the pages of the hair magazines in search of a look. My wife kindly shot them all down. She then points to a poster on the wall. My wife slowly said that was kind of what she was looking for. I could her the severe doubt in her voice but it was too late. She scissors were already on their way to meet my head. The cut is super short and I’m open with that. The problem was the styling she went with for my cut. I looked like the main character from a Final Fantasy game. It was far too wild and spikey. As soon as we left the shop I made my wife take me home so I could wash my hair before we made our errands for the day.

So now for the wedding entry. I will never come out and say the wedding was populated by hillbillies. I will simply let you know the details and assume you are smart enough to piece the puzzle together. If the blog title confuses you then you need to goggle the pig’s name.

1. The reception tent was from a circus. It seems in a round about way I am now related to carny folk who were kind enough to lend out their tent. I think elephants for a merry-go-round at this thing would of made it the perfect night.

2. The groom was supposedly arriving on a tractor. This did not happen but this missing feature did not really serve to class up the event.

3. While the wedding was very casual due to it being outside, in fucking July, only one person arrive wearing overalls.

4. It seems a family member had to decline the invitation to the wedding once he heard the seating for the wedding was going to be hay bales. That was pure joy in shorts.

5. I witnessed my wife’s grandmother do a shot of Pukcer and then follow it up with a full body quiver. Later she said that she really was hoping it was going to be whiskey in the glass.

6. I met a very nice girl who goes by the nickname Moo. She was certainly attractive but did have a birthmark on the back of her leg. Perhaps that little spot reminded someone of a dairy cow’s spots.

7. A porta potty was provided for the ladies and the men mainly walked over the hill next to the tent to piss.

8. The fireworks show was stunning but I felt the finale with the ones shooting into the one corner of the tent was a tad over the top. Someone really needs to turn in this relative in for his firework smuggling before his luck gets any worse.

It really was a night to remember and I guess in the end that is what someone wants for their wedding. It sure wasn’t the type of event I would of planned but it seemed that most of the people had a good time. I am going to a party on the 18th of August and I believe Moo is going to be there. Think I should try and get to the bottom of the name?

When Threesomes Don’t Work Out

It’s such a relief not having a PS3 any longer. While the system had some merits it seemed that each day Sony lost more and more to Microsoft and Nintendo. One day they will make a wild claim and piss off for fans. Another day they will lose the exclusive rights to a popular series they have relied on to sell systems. Sure there was the Blu-Ray player and some titles I wanted to stick it out for but sometimes the love can’t be spread out that much. I feel much better about the Wii60 combo as we gamers have nicknamed it. Ive played more Wii in the past 2 weeks than I did the first 2 months we had it. The Scarface game was fun as hell. I am getting back into Super Paper Mario. Wii Sports holds up still for being such a basic series of games. My copy of Harry Potter showed up today and casting spells with the Wiimote kicks butt. The two systems I have now work for me very well. Tom, Chris and Mike can enjoy my company on XBOX Live and a nice Wii game can entertain the wife and I. I knew one other person with a PS3 and frankly I’m not even going to bother telling him I don’t have it any longer.

Concentrated Nerd Food

This will a brief post. My head hurts and my eyes have had enough. I think Transformers broke my brain. I saw this movie as being a check your brain at the door kind of event. I was smart enough to foresee that the action in the movie is more than our weak human minds can process. The movie was top notch as far as effects and action. The final showdown was most likely the most over the top and out of control thing I have ever seen. It would of been nice to have a side plot than ran alongside the battle so that the audience could of had time to rest and blink.

Other than the above I have very little else to say that is negative about the movie. I have to say they should just enjoy the hopeful success of this film and forget a sequel. There is only so much robot on robot action a person needs to be happy.

I have to add the once again my snide but honest opinion on the trailers got a bit of a chuckle. The Game Plan trailer shows that all great movie ideas will eventually get run into the ground. A manly man, football star this time around, finds out he has a little girl and has to adapt to being a daddy. The final scene of the trailer shows The Rock tossing balls at the girl on the field. They all smack her around since her motor skills aren’t at all developed. After the trailer I state that if someone had tackled her and laid her out on that field……they would have sold me 100% on the film with that one part. You think I am mean now but when this films bombs they’ll wish they had added that scene in for child haters like myself.

A Prescription For Sexual Healing

While in the car the other day I was listening to Loveline. Since the departure of Adam Carolla I haven’t enjoyed the show as much as I used to but it is still enjoyable at times to listen to people way more fucked up than I am. They had a caller who was 13 and thinking about having sex with her boyfriend of the same age. Dr. Drew strongly urged them to put a hold on this whole ordeal for a long long time. He said that there is proof that sex before the age of 16 can mentally damage/alter a person because of the actions and feelings sex can bring about. So that’s my problem. I was a few months shy of 16 when the urges could no longer be suppressed. Was my brain really that fragile and susceptible to harm? Did the actions of that harm forever harm the brain in my other head?

I’d say the bizarre relationships I had in high school put me at greater risk than the horizontal mambo. I didn't have a single normal relationship. My courtships, crushes and coupling had to of messed up some wiring upstairs. The sex was a nice way to ease my mind and forget the bizarro world I lived day to day in. I learned a great deal from my girlfriends and flings in school. Sadly I didn't put what I learned to use very often. Each and everything I experienced did have an affect on me but I wouldn't say that is a bad thing.

The teen sex is not the problem. The teen relationships are not the problem. The problem is people who my sex drive is a fucking crime. I can’t see how in the grand scheme of things a desire to fuck is all that bad. I can’t see how I pose a threat to a single person or society as a whole. I can’t see how kids these days can spend a moment of the day not thinking about sex. Sex is fucking everywhere. Growing up I had no cell phone and no internet. Sexual content was more than a few clicks or button presses away. If I had access to items such as these back in the day I think I could of taken matters into my own hands and waited it out until I was 16.